If you’ve ever flipped through a relationship advice column or scrolled dating TikTok at 2 a.m., you’ve probably heard all of these before. But here’s the plot twist: they’re not just tips for navigating matters of the heart—they’re also spot-on grammar advice. Yes, really.
At first glance, grammar and dating seem like they live on opposite ends of the life experience spectrum. One is about sentence structure and punctuation; the other is about finding someone who won’t ghost you after three dates. But once you start paying attention, you realize they share a surprising amount of overlap. Both require clear communication, healthy boundaries, a little finesse, and a lot of self-awareness. Mess either one up, and confusion follows—fast.
We’ve all had that moment when we’re reading a text or email and suddenly stop mid-sentence because the grammar is so bad, it’s like someone just spilled alphabet soup across your screen.
You backtrack, reread, and wonder, “Wait… what are they trying to say?” That’s exactly what a poorly punctuated sentence does—it leaves you feeling like you’re stuck in a conversation with someone who almost makes sense but never quite gets there. And let’s be honest, we’ve dated people like that, too.
Good grammar doesn’t just make your writing easier to read—it makes it more trustworthy, confident, and effective. It tells your reader, I’ve thought this through. I care about what I’m saying—and how you’re going to receive it. In a world full of texts that read like emotional riddles and emails with punctuation that screams “red flag,” strong grammar is a green flag if ever there was one.
So in the spirit of decoding both language and love, let’s explore some grammar rules that sound suspiciously like dating advice. You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, and you might even find yourself editing your next text to your crush with a newfound appreciation for the humble comma.
Let’s dive in. ❤️✍️
1. Don’t Be Clingy — Use Commas to Give Space
In relationships, smothering someone with too much attention too soon? Yikes. In writing, the same goes for crowding your sentences without proper punctuation. Commas give your reader breathing room. Without them, you’re essentially love-bombing your sentence structure.
Example:
❌ After dinner we watched a movie ate ice cream and went for a walk.
✅ After dinner, we watched a movie, ate ice cream, and went for a walk.
Quick Tip:
Use commas after introductory phrases, before coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, etc.), and to separate items in a list. Your writing will instantly feel more polished—and less clingy.
2. Be Clear About Your Intentions — Avoid Ambiguity
Ambiguity in dating? Awkward. Nobody wants to be unsure if it’s a date or a “hangout.” In writing, unclear pronouns and wandering modifiers create similar confusion. Your reader shouldn’t have to decode your meaning like it’s a cryptic text.
Example:
❌ She told her sister that she was annoying.
(Wait—who’s annoying?)
✅ She told her sister, “You’re being annoying.”
✅ She told her sister that she found their neighbor annoying.
Quick Tip:
Make sure pronouns have clear antecedents, and place modifiers next to the words they describe. That way, your message doesn’t get friend-zoned by confusion.
3. Consistency is Attractive — Match Your Verb Tenses
Flaky behavior is just as frustrating in grammar as it is on a date. If you’re jumping between past and present tenses mid-paragraph, your writing starts to feel like a mixed signal.
Example:
❌ He walked into the room, looks around, and smiled.
✅ He walked into the room, looked around, and smiled.
Quick Tip:
Stick to one tense unless there’s a good reason to switch. Readers need to know where—and when—they are in your story.
4. Don’t Rush — Finish Your Thoughts
Half-finished thoughts in conversation are frustrating. You’re just getting to the point and—nothing. That’s exactly what a sentence fragment does. A complete sentence needs a subject and a verb.
Example:
❌ When I finally arrived at the party.
✅ When I finally arrived at the party, everyone had already gone home.
Quick Tip:
Read your sentence aloud. If it sounds incomplete, it probably is. Don’t ghost your reader—complete the thought.
5. Watch Your Tone — Punctuation Matters
A simple text can come off way harsher than intended if your tone is off. In writing, punctuation sets the tone, and it’s easy to go from cheerful to shouty without realizing it.
Example:
- “Sure.” vs. “Sure!” vs. “SURE!!!”
Same word, three completely different vibes.
Quick Tip:
Don’t overuse exclamation points or caps. Use punctuation to guide your reader’s emotions, not overwhelm them.
6. Know When to Walk Away — Don’t Drag Sentences Out
We all know that person who talks… and talks… and forgets to wrap it up. Sentences need an endpoint. If yours are filled with endless clauses and punctuation gymnastics, your reader will mentally check out.
Example:
❌ The woman, who had once been an actress, before moving to a small town, where she opened a bakery that specialized in gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, yet oddly flavor-free cupcakes, decided to try acting again.
✅ The woman, a former actress turned baker, decided to return to acting.
Quick Tip:
Keep sentences focused. If it’s running too long, break it up. Clarity > complexity.
7. Don’t Try Too Hard — Clarity Beats Cleverness
Using big, impressive words to sound smart? It doesn’t always work. If your reader has to pull out a dictionary (or just gives up), you’ve lost them.
Example:
❌ Her perspicacious perspective illuminated the inherent dichotomies of postmodern existential malaise.
✅ Her insight revealed the contradictions of modern life.
Quick Tip:
You’re not writing to impress—you’re writing to communicate. Say what you mean, clearly and simply.
Final Thoughts: Your Relationship with Grammar Matters
Whether you’re wooing a romantic partner or just trying to keep your reader engaged, the same principles apply: be clear, be kind, and don’t overcomplicate things. Grammar isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being understood. And that, dear reader, is what makes all the difference.
So next time you edit your writing, listen closely. Grammar might just be whispering relationship advice you never knew you needed.
Sally the Scribe 